you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
