I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
