id be glad to
i just had sex bonerless
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
