the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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