You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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