We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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