No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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