Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?

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  (313): I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can? http://tfl.nu/psgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (464)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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  (585): i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW http://tfl.nu/w5kh
  Replies (48) Good night (572) Bad night (3754)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.

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  (765): So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come. http://tfl.nu/tezg
  Replies (23) Good night (5586) Bad night (740)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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  (513): There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/7obs
  Replies (13) Good night (4073) Bad night (890)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (4566)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

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  (715): and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing http://tfl.nu/e1xa
  Replies (11) Good night (3688) Bad night (1284)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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  (609): my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway. http://tfl.nu/j8p7
  Replies (28) Good night (1300) Bad night (9657)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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  (219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3
  Replies (9) Good night (3226) Bad night (998)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce

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  (917): my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce http://tfl.nu/158e
  Replies (41) Good night (1051) Bad night (3019)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?

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  (240): Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders? http://tfl.nu/9s8f
  Replies (15) Good night (4674) Bad night (1037)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing

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  (216): Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing http://tfl.nu/jpc8
  Replies (4) Good night (1865) Bad night (810)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame

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  (952): and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame http://tfl.nu/7sdj
  Replies (4) Good night (1979) Bad night (561)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.

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  (484): We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us. http://tfl.nu/883t
  Replies (4) Good night (1748) Bad night (521)
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  (916): View more from California

  Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.

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  (916): Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER. (1-916): Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt. http://tfl.nu/8glr
  Replies (4) Good night (1647) Bad night (427)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  Sounds legit to me.

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  (937): I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops. (1-937): Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them (937): Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them. (1-937): Sounds legit to me. http://tfl.nu/dn4f
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (216)

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