I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.