Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.

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  (708): Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style. http://tfl.nu/7qxu
  Replies (31) Good night (2285) Bad night (1067)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.

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  (603): It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim. http://tfl.nu/xioc
  Replies (19) Good night (1417) Bad night (4651)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.

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  (204): Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this. http://tfl.nu/p44k
  Replies (24) Good night (1185) Bad night (5038)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.

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  (617): Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/bxqj
  Replies (9) Good night (4987) Bad night (1208)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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  (682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im
  Replies (12) Good night (1197) Bad night (4185)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.

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  (774): Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America. http://tfl.nu/x41k
  Replies (3) Good night (2263) Bad night (664)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait

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  (617): I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship (617): Wait http://tfl.nu/k9zo
  Replies (5) Good night (2842) Bad night (1232)
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  (347): View more from New York

  He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?

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  (347): He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family? http://tfl.nu/6x1g
  Replies (10) Good night (720) Bad night (2386)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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  (218): i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point http://tfl.nu/qeeg
  Replies (2) Good night (2073) Bad night (650)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time i carry you out of a forest

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  (262): Last time i carry you out of a forest http://tfl.nu/h410
  Replies (8) Good night (1072) Bad night (591)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.

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  (814): The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain. http://tfl.nu/8v87
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (488)
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  (707): View more from California

  I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude

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  (707): I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude http://tfl.nu/pine
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (343)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville

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  (217): I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville http://tfl.nu/saxt
  Replies (0) Good night (1028) Bad night (335)
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  (631): View more from New York

  There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know

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  (631): There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know http://tfl.nu/lcwr
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (253)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy

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  (630): I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy http://tfl.nu/cc6y
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (263)

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