No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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