butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
one might say we're banned from that church
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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