return my video game
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
