And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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