every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
