I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize