even my farts smell like vagina
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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