she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
