I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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