I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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