Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You ruined the universe
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
