the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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