Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
