dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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