I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
