Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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