I want to stick my p in your. b.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
