Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
