it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
