Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
