Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's blow job season.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
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