Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
