Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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