phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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