did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
