I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My legs feel like baby dolphins
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
