Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Buhtt sex?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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