their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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