Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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