By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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