I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
