think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you would pick up someone in the library
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I party with great urgency now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
