oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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