I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
