He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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