brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
