You're my little dorito
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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