Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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