Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
