i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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