Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
