in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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