im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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