so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish i was in the wii world.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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