If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
