I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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