I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize