so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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