I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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