When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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