Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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