I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
