You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
