Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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