But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
