Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
